Parasite single - I am not (Part One)
Profile of Miss Chan:
Corporate ladder climber - Learning in progress
Politics queen - Good
Bootlicker - Good (when temper in check)
Bullshitting - Excellent
Would anyone like to employ me?
Chant with me.
Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick. Find a job quick.
I'm a job snob. I have no idea why. I look down on job offers from small companies.
What a dumb ass you are Miss Chan. Miss Chan, you seriously have to change your mentality becuz the work market is flooded with students from good universities with good grades, honours degrees and combined degrees. And you, with third class grades taught by third class lecturers from a second tier university with a third world smelly school canteen have no place to stand in the corporate world, maybe except in the toilet.
Life's tough, and shit is hard to swallow.
Scenarios/Impact Analysis:
Going back to ACN ---> Killing my social life softly and maybe Mr Chan will leave me becuz I neglect him ---> But hey with the money earned, maybe I can buy a virgin Vietnam or kalimantan bridegroom ---> possibility score: 5 out of 10
Internship companies (Keppel and Health Digest) ---> Not a bad choice especially for Health Digest since I will be in my element ---> I get writers' block now and then. Try writing about topics on 'Not tonight honey, I have got asthma', you will get writers' block too ---> possibility score: 4 out of 10
Job Ads ---> I have been given a pass for my resume writing assignment. That probably will mean all resumes sent out will be heading towards Recyclingville ---> Unless, I attach a sexy photo to my resume ---> possibility score: 7 out of 10
Job Agencies ---> Highest possibility of getting a job. Also highest possibility of getting a job with jobscope which is not favourable. Turning it down and risk being blacklisted by the agency ---> What?! And I GET to pay those bloodsuckers for a sucky job at a small time company? Sounds good to me... ---> possibility score: 6 out of 10
HR Classmates ---> Have to help HR specialisation classmates get a good job at a good MNC ---> Have to kiss their ass ---> Have to stop making fun of them and stop irritating them ---> possibility score: 0 out of 10 (you asking me to stop inhaling man)
Social Network ---> What?! You mean I have friends? ---> possiblity score: 0 out of 10
Getting married and being a full time housewife ---> Who is the lucky groom? Do I know him?" ---> I aint need a man to support me ---> possiblity score: 2 out of 10
Live off my family ---> My hamster is the only family I have got now and I think he will not be able to support me on sunflower seeds ---> Higher possibility of me supporting Mudpie ---> possiblity score: -10 out of 10
That sums up all possible aspects of my situation.