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Dont doubt my words.
The government will buy millions of bottle of this from you once they set up the casino
Dont hesitate. Be a distributor of 'wash your sins away' Hand Cream NOW!

Also good for cheating husbands.**

************

note**: this sentence is not specifically targetted at the man i used to call dad.

************

Today Mr Wei made me wait at a Singapore Pools outlet while he made a bet. Mr Wei makes small bets every now and then to add on to the Dawnie diamonds collection Fund.

I'm totally against gambling, smoking, drinking and all other vices that men are involved in. But I'm fine with women with vices. Like me. Who are in control. Who think they are in control. Who vaguely feel that they are in control.

Although Mahjong is my first true love and perhaps I play with people who are equally broke, I play Mahjong without any real cash involvement *kaching*

The dice has no eyes. My people. It doesn't care who you are or how good a person you have been. With the roll of the dice, you have pretty much everything to lose. So save your money or better still, give me a treat but dont gamble it away like Mr Wei. cuz I have yet to see any diamonds on my beautiful fingers. However, you are truly allowed to play Mahjong with me. Cuz I'm in control. I think I'm in control. I vaguely feel that I'm in control.

Mr Wei in a few years time

************

Everyone who has a good father, please give your dad a kiss now.

I have seen my fair share of good fathers and about a year ago, I still thought that the man i used to call dad is one too. For short, we shall call him MUTCD.

Today, I was happily sitting at my pc table blogging about issues people think is rubbish when MUTCD came back. MUTCD walks into his room and found my mum sleeping and that his clothes werent washed. For weeks. OBIGOOD.

MUTCD took all his clothes out. Dumped it onto bathrooom floor.

MUTCD: What time your mum come back
Me: Earlier than me
Gorzilla: Earlier than you *referring to MUTCD*


which obviously peeved him. so he kept quiet and took his anger out on clothes.
After awhile, me and gorzilla launched into a debate as to who is the owner of the 2dollar bill on the table.


MUTCD: Can the 2 of you stop asking for money?
Me and gorzilla looked at each other in amazement?
MUTCD rambles on.

MUTCD: Give so much money (a grand total of 700 odd). No food. No washing of clothes. No anything.
MUTCD: If you all so capable, move out *threatening*

After awhile, MUTCD says he is going to throw away the fridge. *nutcase*

I'm going to print this out and paste it on my door. As a reminder for him.

I hope he dies soon. Dickhead. Stupid.

'You won't get what you are looking for in this blog today. Not sex anyway.'

I think good friends are like comfy panties.

Although I have no idea CMJ's red panties will represent who.

But basically good friends give you support, keep you warm and comfy and comes in all patterns and sizes.

Basically friends let you unload your shit onto them.

I miss jacq & lori *mega pout*. Jacq has tried to contact me a few times but I din reply or try to contact her back in any way. I feel guilty. Sometimes I feel my life is in a mess and I feel guilty telling friends my problems. Everybody has got their own shit. I dun think they would appreciate mine. Hence, I'm trying to get my life in order before going back to my social circles again. Sigh.. sigh.. not the first time anyway. I wonder how are my friends doing now. They have been sending me emails but I haven't had the heart to read them yet. blah blah. Bad bunny.

Actually I feel abit depressed today. So I expressed myself on Mr Wei's hand.

Punishment for wat he did yesterday & a flower to bright up my day.

Of cuz, he was not very cooperative.

If only CMJ was around. Maybe she will be more cooperative. She loves me to bits.

*************

This picture sums up my feelings for this year. *by drew*

Funny.

*************

Today I was really overjoyed at the amount of studying I have to do. So I decided to go for a vacination for chicken pox. For fun. And to experience the joy of having a needle poked into me. And to generously give the sluggish economy a push by injecting a total of $80 bucks into the economy.

Me (feeling friendly): So doctor, when you were still practising to be a doctor, who did you practise on?
Doctor Low: No one in particular. Sometimes on dead pigs.
Me (Speechless): *lips turning white*

My left arm is sore.

Need further accelerate the growth of the economy. So I have to go back for my second jab. In May.

After which I will be immunitised of chicken poxs for the next 19 years.

I'm still feeling overjoyed at the amount of studying I have to do.

Tml will be a BETTER DAY *Fatt Kor*

*************

Blog update: Have added a NEW! poll as well as a counter. Took me one hour to do it. Which reminds me I'm overjoyed at the amount of studying I have to do.

Soon: Will change the colour tone of the blog. Current one is fugly. meaning fucking ugly.

Genetic Makeup of Men

Good men are turning gay. God is waiting for the old slimy batch to die off before making a fresh new good batch..

Have I ever told you men are dickheads? Cheating men are dickheads waiting to be chopped off.


Mammy. plans. to. file. for. divorce. when. i. get. a. job.


Seriously. why. wait. ?.


This reminds me of an advertisement on TV sometime ago. Long ago.
My grandfather was a 2-timer. (My grandfather was an engineer)
So was my father. (So was my father)



My grandfather had 2 'wives' at the same time. My grandma and her niece *WOW* I hope my grandfather turns in his grave.
Why make me repeat. Men are slutty.


Have you noticed that cheats are on the rise recently? Soon they will infiltrate the whole world and penetrate everything with their dickheads. The towns and cities will be covered with their slime.. Slimy bastards.


Dickheads in Action
Oh I'm planning to tell you soon.... (After I leave you or when you die)
No way was I looking at her breasts darling... (Check out her ass too... shagalicious *slurp mouth*)
You are the best baby! (For now..)
I'll never lie to you (Over small, insignificant stuff)
I'm a bastard (I'm a bastard)
Source: Chan (2005)

Yours sincerely,

SAF
Society for Angry Female

P/s getting a dog is far better than getting a man. Trust me. Can you tell I have got a rage problem?

Love is a wonder thing. Half the time.

Tall, dark and handsome. Dickie lived on the last floor of the 3 storey walkup apartments along Alexandra Road. He has a well paying job, lives in his own piece of land and has everything he needed. He was a chick magnet and has no trouble obtaining a date. However, he felt that his life was empty and he longed for that someone special to share his life with.



Mandy, his neighbour who lives on the 1st floor of the same walkup apartment, on the other hand, is not that perfect. Petite and slightly plump, Mandy has never dated any man till now and like Dickie, she longs for that special someone till this day.



Though living in the same building, the two has never meet. Until one day.

Meet Dickie. No puns intended. Yeah.

Mandy walking her doggie one fine afternoon.

When Dickie meets Mandy - living in sin on my desk

I said almost a love story. I din promise you one.

Meet the new additions to my cluttered desk. Dickie and Mandy. From Ikea. Off Alexandra Road.

Paradiz Centre. 12.30pm

Well today, the gang was schedule to meet at 12.30pm for lunch *dictated by Miss foodlover*. From the moment I stumbled out of bed till 12.30pm, which is a total of 2 hours, I wondered why we have got to meet 1.5 hours before KTV just for lunch. Hmmm.. still wondering why at 10.58pm...

Today most of us expected the surfacing of mic/remote hoggers *wonder who*

Okie I feel my right eye twitching, oh stop cursing me.

Paradiz Foodcourt. 12.45pm

I called almost everyone except for Looloo since i dont have her number. All late. Great. Where's my good ayam when I need her? Poor Ayam is down with flu so no one to sing oldies with me. :( SAD.

I went to draw money and heng, Miss KTV queen arrived and her humble servant *which is me* went to buy food for her and myself.

Mr wei called. Shit. Forget to sms him to tell him I'm oredi outside which I promised to do so last nite. Shit. Shit. He tells me that he is meeting Marcus baby in town today. Sorrie hot stud forgot to give u an sms.

Kbox Reception. 2pm

All was here except Dajie, who went all the way to Simei from her place to see doctor and hence was late. Trotted to the reception to register and the person who made reservations vanished into thin air *strange but true* Too bad - let Nana earn points. I was too slow in taking out my Kbox card. *giggle*

Forgot to bring my student card. Heng the nice receptionist take a look at me and immediately can tell I'm still a student. *thank god for good genes*

Room 85. 2.05pm

Grabbed hold of remote control before *anyone else* can touch it first and passed it to Nana - the moderator.

Sing. Sing. Sing.

After 4 hours of mic hogging, the rest are turning to other sources of entertainment... *identity kept secret but can roughly tell who lah*

I think I might like to go KTV with Dajie and Looloo cuz they don't sing alot and they dont fiddle with the remote.

Room85. 6.05pm

Among my other vices, KTVing with gang is my favourite activity besides mahjong. But as time passes... Was soon in semi conscious state as afternoon nap time had arrived. Eyelids getting heavier. Not in the mood to sing anymore but others are still going strong. So I tried my best to sing an occasional song every now and den. No energy to even play with KTV queen.

Not surprisingly, the song list comprises of mainly KTV queen's songs as like the last time we went to KTV. Wats new? Right ayam?

Previously: No 2 to 5 belongs to KTV queen. *Is it our turn yet?* A common phrase which echo in our hearts and minds.

Thankfully KTV queen has an appointment with her good frens to meet for a fabulous dinner. She abandoned me/us at 6.45pm.

Room 85. 7.22pm

The usual waitress finally came to tell us to buzz off. Everyone looks mildly relieved to be able to go home/go shopping/go meet bf soon.

Home. Sweet. Home. 8.30pm.

Uploaded my secret pictures. Private investigators can hire me on a part time basis. Call me.

'The power of suggestion is often the greatest when caught unaware'

I was at Mr wei's place chilling out, watching 'Addicted to Love' and i realised in the midst of the show that I could be jolly well addicted to him. Not that I din want to. But if you knew who I am was in the past, I would have told you that:
1) men are not pigs. pigs are smart
2) men can be sluts too
3) men are scums of the earth

You get the drift lah and here I'm thinking that I'm addicted to Mr wei. Weak woman.

************

Monday is telly night. It's a night which I rush home *no matter where I am* to watch my favourite shows. Actually I think tv shows are trash. Unless we are talking about hot chicks cherlyn fox or glenda chong reading news on CNA. I could be doing more productive activities if there was no tv in my life. Like cleaning my room. Or doing cross stitch. Or helping the Singapore govt with the birth rates issue.

I think Desperate Housewives is great entertainment. Not everything in the show is about sex, Mr Jeffrey Goh. Now Mr Goh is my lecturer, and a good one at that for my BGGC module. He mentioned in one of his class that Desperate Housewives is bad for my moral. My morals or the lack of them, of cuz is nothing compared to Paris Hilton. But it is a topic which I intend to devote an entire posting to. Sometime soon. In the near future. So we will not talk about them here.

The deal is the government should make men watch Desperate Housewives (DH). Besides eyeballing hot old chicks in the flick, men should be learning about how they fucked up women's life. I get a shivery feeling saying that. Wonder why. They (housewives) are desperate mentally, not physcially, Mr Jeffrey Goh. Thank you.

After watching DH at 10pm, I will arm wrestle for the hold of remote control with mammy.


Mammy: I want to sing ktv
Fishmonger Chan: But it's 11pm oredi
Mammy: I will sing softly
Fishmonger Chan: *roll eyes* No one sings cantonese opera softly
Mammy: I'm your mum
Fishmonger Chan: I will call the police


This only happens in my dream.

If I happened to be wearing red panties on that day, I will be master of the remote control. Gaining access to the remote will mean that my morals will going south for the moment lah.

Bimbo hot chick Stripperella - stripper by day, heroine by nite voiced by, no prizes for guessing right, pammy anderson. Conversations in the cartoon goes like this:

Friend: I have never won anything in my life
Stripperella: I won a wet t-shirt contest when i was in 3rd grade
Friend: *exclaimation* IN 3RD GRADE?!?
Stripperella: *bimbotic* Yeah. I was 18.

Yeah. Sue me. I enjoy cheap humour.

A column dedicated to a beautiful chicken

Beautiful chicken is this cute girl in my class whom is everybody's favourite person. Including mine. Not only is she funny. She possesses a big heart. She will always be someone special to all of us and becuz her bthday is coming soon, I dedicate the following poem to her.

A poem for the beautiful chicken

I just wanted to thank you for being my friend
So thank you from the bottom of my butt
It is alot bigger den my heart


Tada. How's my poemtic skills?