I am in a grumpy mood today.



What's new - you ask me.



Today is different. Becuz today I was woken up by my new neighbours at 8:30amish



grrrr....



Having new neighbours can be a good and bad thing.



Good becuz there is this sense of anticipation on your part that your new neighbour is actually an Edison lookalike and his 2 brothers remotely resembles Jay and Shawn. YEAH.




My sexy neighbours *credits:Nana*





The bad thing is your new neighbour is actually a wrinkly old ah pek - with a pot belly to boot... Bummer.



Another bad thing about having new neighbours is having to endure legal noise pollution which is also known as renovation works.



I took a kaypoh peek at the renovation license stuck outside next door. It says renovation works approved to be carried out from the 19th to 22nd June 2005. HELLO?! Today is already 23rd.



What's more, you get to experience the utimate joy of having leery looks cast upon you by sweaty & smelly renovation workers when you step outside to take out the rubbish to the rubbish chute.



Although you are dressed in tattered and torn t-shirt which has not been washed for weeks, you feel as though you are wearing just a bikini top and thong bottom when you walk pass them. Makes one feel like "some poultry animal" at gelyang.



Adding to the noise is the woman who have brought me up for the past 18years 75months. You simply cannot believe that she has only 2 lungs. She sings KTV day and night and any time inbetween. And becuz she cannot hear herself sing due to all the drilling going on, she tries to sing even louder than usual.



I cannot bitch about this woman too much if not I will probably kenna lightning strike so I will stop here.



Wah Lau. I have to endure this for a week. Will someone adopt me for a week?




So nevermind, since I'm up so early, might as well as spam my resumes to employers and read the blogs that I read everyday.



My everyday Brain food





Den I went to have a look at my blog.





Eyesore on my blog




I dunno if you people know this. But I'm very anal about formatting. Fix it dude.




You know when I'm grumpy, there's only one person who can cheer me up indefinitely.




So I went to look look see see her blog. Den I realised that she is wearing the earring we gave her for her birthday.


AND YES! It's the one I choose *boast*




Cinderella going to the ball to meet her metal prince aka prince alloy



I have to cover her face to protect her identity if not I will kenna kan by her as usual.





In case you are bored and broke this june holidays, students, bummer and the unemployed can visit the Haw Par Villa for some fun and entertainment.


10 Reasons why visit Haw Par Villa



Footnote:
Thanks to Nana for sending me the Initial D pictures which made me fantasize that my neighbours are Edison, Jay and Shawn. And that I had almost forgotten what is my boyfriend's name.

Mr Wei Blabberman Show proudly brought to you by Pro Feminist Webby. Talk Show will revolve around pro feminist topics such as "Husband 2005", "Baitman Begins" and the upcoming "A Lot Like Housework" ya wait long long.

So stay tuned and fixed to this slot all yer pro feminist homosapiens!

Mr wei is whining that everyone has a blog but him.


Blah Blah Blah


He's referring to his gay partner's new blog.


Blah Blah Blah


So to stop him from whining, I have made him a member of my blog which means he can post entries whenever he feels like it too.


Blah Blah Blah


So lets wait for his maiden post folks.

Someone asked me where I got the title thingy from.



I made it lah. Cannot is it? Grrr..



I made the background and everything else from scratch OK *boastful*



I used to be pretty good in Photoshop but now, I pretty much suck at Photoshop. Well I suck in alot of things actually.



Anyway, the other day, when I was still working at THAT place - my 2nd day at work, the BOSS said to me "Do a poster for the lucky dip at Carrerfour"



I freaked. Considering it was already 3plus on Friday and Lucky Dip is on Monday. Need time for printing and colour separation and stuff. AND I HAVENT TOUCH PHOTOSHOP FOR AGES.



I freaked. First day I ran an IPO press conference at Raffles Hotel. Second day, I had to maintain their new corporate website and design a poster. If I was still there, I could be asked to climb Mount Everest by the end of this week.



In the midst of all these, I have NOT seen any terms of employment from the employer. I have not been introduce to any colleagues yet. No orientation, no shit, no HR department. AND I WAS THE ONLY PERSON IN THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT.



So the task of designing ANYTHING will fall on the next lucky soul who is marketing executive.



Bless you.



Back in Polytechnic days I had wild dreams of being a graphic designer.



STOP IT. Don't think I can't see you rolling your yellow eyeballs at me.



But still, dreams are dreams. I never wanted to be a business person but here I am.



So after Polytechnic, I sort of return to reality where I realised one doesn't live on his or her dreams but on bread and water instead.



These few days I have been meddling around with Photoshop on my gorzilla's PC since I'm sick of rubbing shoulders with fellow sweaty singaporeans and hence is staying home to rot.



And since Brother is the latest blogger member on our community, I would like to extend my warmest welcome to him.




I present to you, Mr Lee and Mr Wei



The Original Picture





The lightened picture





Look Ma. Just the grass.





Advertisement for the Gay IPOD. whatever.




Dreams are just dreams.

One of my intelligence agents reported something today that made me see red.



Remember sometime ago when I told you this guy cheated behind his girlfriend's back with a tiger beer promoter?



Guy: we will refer to as Ronny** for references sake

Girlfriend: we will refer to as Babe**

Tiger Beer Promoter: we will refer to as Nalisa**


**Identities have not been changed much to protect identity. I mean who cares right?




That fat piece of spectacled lard also known as Ronny is back with his Babe again!



And he told Babe that it's Nalisa who threw herself at him.



*Rolled my eyes* Pls lor. The only thing worthy to throw at him is a used sanitary napkin.



And he also told her that he was lonely at that time hence unable to resist temptation.



And she forgave him.



If I was dead in my grave, I would have flipped. Truly.



I have no right to get agitated. Yes I know. It's other people's life and they are in no way related to me. So I'm going to take a bathe and watch TV to cool down and resist the urge to launch into another feminist talk which turns men off.



However, as a feminist I'm still have to inform you that there are some levels of naivety which I, myself have never seen. Like this case.



I foresee tragedy approaching.

The Rules of Cinderella Fan Club:



Rule 1: The female always makes the rules.



Rule 2: The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.



Rule 3: No male can possibly know all the rules.



Rule 4: If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all the rules.



Rule 5: The female is never wrong.



Rule 6: If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.



Rule 7: If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.



Rule 8: The female can change her mind at any given point in time for any reason.



Rule 9: The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.



Rule 10: The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.



Rule 11: The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.



Rule 12: The female must not, under any circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.



Rule 13: Any attempt by the male to document these rules could result in severe bodily harm.



Rule 14: If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void

Hindi movies are great you know




Every sunday night after watching Japan Hour, it's Bollywood time.



I watch it partly becuz I have nothing better to do at home as Mr wei prefers to spend quality time with his ps2 or pc game which means I have to find other source of entertainment for myself and also I'm sick of watching reruns on Channel 8 and Channel U.




Don't scoff at Bollywood Blockbuster




I tell you some of them are way better then some Channel 8 worst-than-crap productions.




They even have better looking actresses and actors than crappy Channel 8.




And they even make the effort to coordinate their dance steps around the skinny coconut tree.




I know everybody thinks I'm nuts but Hindi movies are really entertaining.




The Bollywood flicks on arts central can be categorised into 2 main types.




TYPE 1:

Scene 1: Boy meets girl on street.

Scene 2: Boy is smitten with girl at first sight

Scene 3: Boy wants to marry girl.

Scene 4: Girl family plans to marry Girl to Boy B who is also a filthy rich big baddie.

Scene 5: Boy and Baddie fights for girl using machine guns, hand grenades and submarines. Whatever.




TYPE 2:

Scene 1: Boy engaged to daughter of filthy rich big big baddie.

Scene 2: Boy meets girl of his dreams

Scene 3: Boy elopes with girl of his dreams

Scene 4: Filthy rich big baddie hunts them down

Scene 5: Boy and Baddie fights using machine guns, hand grenades and submarines. Whatever.




Basically what I want to say is Boy is usually smitten with girl.



So you see, Bollywood flicks are not very different from Korea/Japan/Taiwan romance dramas and maybe my dear friends who are addicted to such dramas would consider watching Bollywood flicks for a change.




Why I watch Bollywood Movies:



1) In the past, females leads are usually tubs of lards wrapped in sari but I can swear now that a typical Indian female lead is definitely Miss Universe material.



I swear they are even more beautiful than me. which is a very high praise by the way.



Male leads, though no Brad Pitt, majority are still tall, dark, brooding and comes complete with 6 pecs.



Definitely no Michael Jackson lookalikes which also brings me to the next point.




2) I refuse to watch this FUGLY man on TV.







Why would any sane person watch a squirrel host a TV show is beyond my comprehension.



Why would any sane person watch this squirrel on Channel U on a Sunday (also known as Funday in my dictionary) nite is beyond my comprehension.



If I want to watch a documentary on squirrels I would have watched Animal Planet and besides, I have seen squirrels with better hair than that.



So at that specific time when the squirrel comes on TV, I will seek refuge at Bollywood where there are squirrels have better hair. I mean men with better hair.




3) Each Bollywood flick usually comprises a good mixture of romance, action, song & dance, humour, sex and intriguing storylines.



So there's something for everyone at home who is watching.



A Bollywood movie is something a family can enjoy together.



Romance for female teens, action for the studs at home, song and dance to entertain your maid and any siblings below the age of 12, humour for your grandparents, sex to interest your pc addict brothers, and intriguing storylines for parents.




4) Bollywood Movie Values



Each single Bollywood movie is specially crafted by an expert to teach us younglings certain social values in life.



Some things I learnt from Bollywood Movies:



a) Dancing should be a national hobby.



By the waterfall, on the big green grass fields, just boogie woogie. Besides dancing is a form of exercise.



Also, you can widen your social network if you dance in public especially in India. Since you will soon have a group of other people whom you don't know dancing behind you uniformly.



Good networking for insurance agents.



b) Dancing around coconut trees apparently is out of vogue. Bummer.



c) Engage yourself to a filthy rich big baddie and your Prince Charming will soon appear in your life to save you from your miserable life.



d) Wear perfumed scarves so you can throw them around at any eligible men who happens to be around you and soon, they will be incredibly smitten with you. They will be so memerised that they will even be willing to save you singlehandedly from terrorists. Cool.



e) Parents are always waiting to force you to marry their best friend's or business partner's offsprings. Be careful of your parents' friends and business partners.



f) Men will always be smitten with you in India.



If you are lucky maybe you will have 2, a good guy and a bad guy.



If you are luckier than lucky, you might have 3, a good guy and a bad guy and a cousin who has been in love with you since young.



So if you are looking for a potential somebody, maybe can try your luck there.




There I have summarisied all the pros of watching a Bollywood production. Hope I have encouraged you to tune in to these fine entertainment the next time Channel 5, 8 and U unload their crap programming on an unsuspecting TV viewer.

Fathers' Day

I would like to wish Hammie a Happy Fathers' Day!!



Love you Hammie Boy.





What?! You mean I have a father?!?!



Darth Vader says he's my father.



I havent seen him for 2 days and I have seen hammie every day.





Yes. In this post, I'm regret to inform all that I'm loose once again in the job market.



I made this decision on Friday, which was supposed to be Friday Blog Fever Day but I spent it bawling my eyes out and Mr wei's shoulders were flooded with mucus and tears. Poor baby. It's moments like this that I forget he is a naggy old man and he is actually someone I love berry berry much.



Maybe I had a bad 2 working days but I don't think I will regret my decision but if I had stayed I would most probably have regretted it.



I mean I have never ever cried becuz of work.



Bastard Neo. I hope your children have no assholes.



Anyway, please don't ask me specifically why I quit. I could get defensive, angry, irritated, pissed whatever. And you wouldn't want to see that.



I will blog it out of my system when I'm ready. Thanks for your concerns my loves.



Anyway, since I'm loose once again. I will organise an outing soon. An outing where we will spend little money and an outing where I can take loads of crappy pictures of you lovely people.



I present to you





Contact me for more details. HA