Finally!

The once in a year event will be upon us soon at 4.30pm at suntec tomorrow. The paparazzi are waiting with their cameras to pounce on the star of tomorrow once she steps into the area. The pictures-hungry paparazzi will have a field day tomorrow when the celebrity celebrates her 30th bthday at a restaurant at Suntec with her close friends. It is said that her lover could be joining for the party but it is as good as anyone's guess.

Stay tuned to see pictures tomorrow!

Thats all for today folks.

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The editor plans to compile a series of short stories on this celebrity. Will interested parties please contribute your fiction or nonfiction short stories to the editor. Thank you.

School is coming to an end. I was actually feeling abit nostalgic on my way to school today. It's like the end of a good and carefree era. Not that I hate my previous working life but there is pretty much nothing to look forward to. I know there are people look forward to spending the rest of their lives with their love ones *hint hint* but for me, there is nothing to look forward to actually *hint hint*.

To show your boss who is the boss

Today I was on the train to school and I was seated beside someone who took up 1.25 of a seat. I'm perfectly fine with that but please please do you mind keeping your head where they belong (like between your legs or something) and not on my shoulder? Do you seriously know how it feels to be seated in a really confined and small area with a massive head trying to rest on your shoulders.

Working adults. Rich food and ass stuck permanently in cushiony office chair. Lack of exercise (perhaps only an occasional horizontal tango with your colleagues in the office once in a while). Voila. Wasitlines balloon. Fingers get chubby. Double chins. Worse could happen. Like not being able to see your dicks**. Ever. Again.

disclaimer: **Not intended to corrupt innocent minds. Purely hypothetical.

Effects of a rich diet of expensive food and beer

Effects of a rich diet of expensive grains and beer

Say moo. We are the future kobe cows my friends.

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At 9.45am I was in school on a non- school day to make sure I make the last full use of the school printer. Of cuz, it was CMJ's brilliant idea to come early in the morning to avoid the 'unseen' crowd she was expecting. Hmm.. Well, who cares because my sole purpose of going to school is to eat in our first class school's third world canteen. I swear third world countries smell way better than our canteen. The smell is almost on par with Indian construction workers and NS boys but apparrently, there are people who likes the smell of Indian construction workers and NS boys judging from the crowd in the canteen today.


In the lab, CMJ chanced upon someone's resume and being the kaypohs we both are of cuz we read it. One more competitor for HR jobs my HR friends.

Class A kids always make me feel jittery. Like if I'm doing 5 journals, they will be doing 8 journals. All thanks to our Class A spy. The dustbin will always be full because of you *hidden meaning* So today, I saw like a couple of them hanging around the library, can you imagine my anxiety level because I spend the last 2 days being angry with Mr Wei and not studying because I was busy preparing arrows to aim back at him.

That is after I spent tuesday evening bawling my eyes out. And scaring neighbours with my screamings in the toilet. And cursing Mr Wei. After kicking him out of my house. Literally.

Ok. I was angry. Really angry. I was pissed for 3 WHOLE days. Stuffed myself with carrot cake at 3am everyday. Serious.

Good thing he did a memo on strategies on 'how to treat Miss Chan better' the MS and BGGC way. Memo 2 will be on implementation and control.

AND TO CMJ, for the LAST TIME, I'M NOT A FCP. If I were, I would have burnt my bras. Damn you.

New from G2000

It looks good on me k. Shupdap.

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You know about my rule about not answering calls from unknown telephone numbers. I just realised that Singtel has called me sometime ago after I posted my resume for a marketing and communications post. DAMN YOU STUPID MISS CHAN.

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Can't you tell I have got anger management problems? Anger problems have curb my growth cells.

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Updated: See the teeny weeny New! at the right hand column? Go click.

You are our Superstar!

Every year, around this time, we would fork out time to prepare the presents for our beloved superstar cum KTV songtress cum CMJ.

This year was no exception.

Each year, we would humbly sacrifice a little time and spend days trying to compile all her pictures taken for the entire semester. Moi, Miss Chan, have the greatest honour of keeping her entire year of photos into my CMJ database. From this database, we cropped, we photoshoped and we superimposed some of the most controversial pictures into whatever that interest us and compile all into one photo album of love.

This year was no exception.


However, after several repeated request for a birthday gift which is of a more useful nature, we have decided to add on another gift for our beloved princess of tiong bahru.

After not much debate, we laid eyes on something which we thought suited CMJ the MOST.

This lovely lovely bag. Suitable when you step out into the work force. Suitable when you need to pick the kids up from school. Suitable for using it to bash my head. For all purposes.

Dont you think it will look lovely on her? Sorrie no diamond babe. We are doing our best.

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And because shopping around for presents is so stressful. I had to destress myself.

I swear I heard this blusher calling out my name in the shop.

p/s kids shouldn't mimic what i have done at the beginning of this paragraph. Good adults dont start their sentences with 'AND' or 'BECAUSE'. Because its morally wrong. Or so what I thought my grammar teacher said.

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What the hell is this piece of shit?

Actually this was my breakfast. 3 weeks ago. Because (see kids dont mimic k) I wanted to clear away the shopping bags in my room. I chanced upon my 3 week-old breakfast. Big deal. At least this one not mouldy.

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Footnotes:

Do you know that the Superstar Contest will be held at SIM tml? Will our superstar be participating? We will always support you gal!!

Good luck to Liloo who's having an interview tml. Good luck gal. All the best tml.

Do you know that a certain man has sent our soon-to-be-bthday girl a photo of himself as a present and ask her not to look and drool at it too much? This man. SO EVIL. Seems like he is planning to use his many seductive charms to ensure she fail her coming exams *gasp!* conspiracy alert!!

Truly Fucked

Have you looked through the MS recommended text we were supposed to read through?

My sentiments. Truly.

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So I'm going to keep it short today.

On page 12 of the Straits Times today. A PSC scholar came under fire for having a racist blog *roll eyes*. Public scholars cannot have their own views? Okie being racist is bad. I know. Other people may be racists but I'm not a racist. The only time I'm racist is when I think that only Indian men make good pratas. Is someone going to shoot me?

Fine. He has racists thoughts, that scholar. It's not as if he went around saying that. Not as if he went around throwing stones at other races. His blog was a private blog with password access and someone went to hack his account and spill the beans on him.

This makes me realise that even blogs are not safe from prying eyes.

Okie. Actually I also think Indian construction workers need to pay attention to their personal body hygiene.

And NS boys too.

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Today I received an email asking if I believe in Fairy tales? Funny.

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Updated:
1) There's a tag board now. So its easier for my Avivd (quoted) readers to wax lyrics about their adorations. For me.
2) Have a new poll. Everybody pls take a vote. It's important. Like our elections. CMJ's birthday is coming up. So we need to get her a present unless we are planning to escape overseas. Man...
3) Updated the colour scheme. Still not very satisfied with the whole look. Will experiment again when I'm free.