Bolly Bolly Good

Hindi movies are great you know




Every sunday night after watching Japan Hour, it's Bollywood time.



I watch it partly becuz I have nothing better to do at home as Mr wei prefers to spend quality time with his ps2 or pc game which means I have to find other source of entertainment for myself and also I'm sick of watching reruns on Channel 8 and Channel U.




Don't scoff at Bollywood Blockbuster




I tell you some of them are way better then some Channel 8 worst-than-crap productions.




They even have better looking actresses and actors than crappy Channel 8.




And they even make the effort to coordinate their dance steps around the skinny coconut tree.




I know everybody thinks I'm nuts but Hindi movies are really entertaining.




The Bollywood flicks on arts central can be categorised into 2 main types.




TYPE 1:

Scene 1: Boy meets girl on street.

Scene 2: Boy is smitten with girl at first sight

Scene 3: Boy wants to marry girl.

Scene 4: Girl family plans to marry Girl to Boy B who is also a filthy rich big baddie.

Scene 5: Boy and Baddie fights for girl using machine guns, hand grenades and submarines. Whatever.




TYPE 2:

Scene 1: Boy engaged to daughter of filthy rich big big baddie.

Scene 2: Boy meets girl of his dreams

Scene 3: Boy elopes with girl of his dreams

Scene 4: Filthy rich big baddie hunts them down

Scene 5: Boy and Baddie fights using machine guns, hand grenades and submarines. Whatever.




Basically what I want to say is Boy is usually smitten with girl.



So you see, Bollywood flicks are not very different from Korea/Japan/Taiwan romance dramas and maybe my dear friends who are addicted to such dramas would consider watching Bollywood flicks for a change.




Why I watch Bollywood Movies:



1) In the past, females leads are usually tubs of lards wrapped in sari but I can swear now that a typical Indian female lead is definitely Miss Universe material.



I swear they are even more beautiful than me. which is a very high praise by the way.



Male leads, though no Brad Pitt, majority are still tall, dark, brooding and comes complete with 6 pecs.



Definitely no Michael Jackson lookalikes which also brings me to the next point.




2) I refuse to watch this FUGLY man on TV.







Why would any sane person watch a squirrel host a TV show is beyond my comprehension.



Why would any sane person watch this squirrel on Channel U on a Sunday (also known as Funday in my dictionary) nite is beyond my comprehension.



If I want to watch a documentary on squirrels I would have watched Animal Planet and besides, I have seen squirrels with better hair than that.



So at that specific time when the squirrel comes on TV, I will seek refuge at Bollywood where there are squirrels have better hair. I mean men with better hair.




3) Each Bollywood flick usually comprises a good mixture of romance, action, song & dance, humour, sex and intriguing storylines.



So there's something for everyone at home who is watching.



A Bollywood movie is something a family can enjoy together.



Romance for female teens, action for the studs at home, song and dance to entertain your maid and any siblings below the age of 12, humour for your grandparents, sex to interest your pc addict brothers, and intriguing storylines for parents.




4) Bollywood Movie Values



Each single Bollywood movie is specially crafted by an expert to teach us younglings certain social values in life.



Some things I learnt from Bollywood Movies:



a) Dancing should be a national hobby.



By the waterfall, on the big green grass fields, just boogie woogie. Besides dancing is a form of exercise.



Also, you can widen your social network if you dance in public especially in India. Since you will soon have a group of other people whom you don't know dancing behind you uniformly.



Good networking for insurance agents.



b) Dancing around coconut trees apparently is out of vogue. Bummer.



c) Engage yourself to a filthy rich big baddie and your Prince Charming will soon appear in your life to save you from your miserable life.



d) Wear perfumed scarves so you can throw them around at any eligible men who happens to be around you and soon, they will be incredibly smitten with you. They will be so memerised that they will even be willing to save you singlehandedly from terrorists. Cool.



e) Parents are always waiting to force you to marry their best friend's or business partner's offsprings. Be careful of your parents' friends and business partners.



f) Men will always be smitten with you in India.



If you are lucky maybe you will have 2, a good guy and a bad guy.



If you are luckier than lucky, you might have 3, a good guy and a bad guy and a cousin who has been in love with you since young.



So if you are looking for a potential somebody, maybe can try your luck there.




There I have summarisied all the pros of watching a Bollywood production. Hope I have encouraged you to tune in to these fine entertainment the next time Channel 5, 8 and U unload their crap programming on an unsuspecting TV viewer.